felt empty and abit uneasy nowadaes.. dunnoe y.. perhaps iz coz results are drawing near and NS iz round the corner.. the onli thing to look forward in Ns iz that i may see new faces and mit new frenz.. the emptiness in mi iz simply enlarging.. i bury myself in work everidae.. juz got my pay.. 1100+.. but i dun realli feel happie bout it.. thou i enjoy working at my place, whenever i reach home and be alone.. i start thinking of stuffs..

i dunnoe y my mum hate mi so much... alwaes scold mi over small minor things.. i consider myself as a veri nice child oredi.. and i even do more den what'sw expected of a child.. i start working during sec 3 and i haben being getting a single cent from her till now.. been surviving on my salary and scholarship.. oredi 4 yrs.. let mi ask, which child can do tis? even textbksand stuffs are paid by mi.. except the o lvl fees.. i think i'm alreadi veri zhang jin le.. what's more for improvement??? i dun nid her to worrie bout my studies, work and my life.. i try to do my best in everithin.. but i still get scolded over stupid things like leavin an empty cup in the living room, sleeping late and all kinda nonsense.. haiz.. perhaps i'm nv a better child compare to my bro.. since the day he iz admitted to EM1 and mi em2.. i knew all this iz fixed and inevitable.. hu doesn't like a cleverer child.. nvm.. i juz admit to fate..

valentines dae juz pass thru in a flash.. din celebrate.. neither wif frenz, nor wif lovers.. i dun even haf true frenz,.. wat's there to sae bout lovers.. haiz.. i can onli sae, lynn.. u're one of my true frenz.. u are the one i dare to approach.. u lend mi money wifout asking the reason.. u listen to my troubles.. u share my happiness and sadness.. i juz enjoy the accomapny of u beside mi when i'm down, u dun nid to sae a word.. juz sit by mi and i'm veri contented.. tis iz wad i expect from a true fren.. and i oso like to thnk peiling, xiuqian, marcus, sy, wh for ur concerns and care.. for those whom i leave out, sorrie.. coz i cant rmb ur names or cant rmb to put it down..

i'm disappointed wif myself handling certain issues.. things like emotions and relationships.. i believe i'm gd in handling work.. but things like emotions., i'm a failure.. i cant express myself as wad i wan at times.. or i accidentalli blurted out hurting words at times.. veri sorrie to those hu are hurted by mi, i dun do it on purpose.. it's juz at the moment tat messy thoughts and emotions run thru my mind, and cause mi to sae such words.. i dun mean wad i sae.. dun take it to heart.. dun misunderstand.. i'm realli not like tat.. i hope our frenship juz dun end becoz of such things..

$$ iz sumthin important.. sumthin which spoils frenship, relationship and luv.. nv get involved in $$ issues.. but onli after experiencing money issues, one will trueli noe hu's true to him or her.. ppl fight over $$, ppl kill over $$, ppl betray over $$.. juz becoz of money.. i hope god can distribute wealth fairly in future...